Wednesday, February 22, 2012

What He's Up To...

Things Mommy Hears Me Say...

"I not weally wike"

"What dat noise?"

"Why daddy beep?" 
(why did daddy burp....asked randomly throughout the day. While Josh is working...)

"Where mommy's/daddy's car-ee?"

(after something totally impressive, of course)

"I meees _______!"
(He misses lots of things lately...daddy, grammie, the horse at Meijer)

"What daddy dooo-ing?"

"Where daddy go?"

Things I Love....

Maner and M'Keeeen
(Tow-Mater and McQueen)

Grammie and Papa...and Grammie's cookies
(those cookies have major power...proven to cure any toddler ailment!)

(aka...Auntie Bri, also "Where Bri car-ee?")

Naming his aunties, uncles, cousins, and friends when we look at pictures on the fridge

Giving kisses...even to the sweet girls in, lady's man??

Standing on his Cars 2 chair or the step-stool to open doors, turn the lights on and off...
make trouble!

Helping mommy with the broom and shoveling snow with daddy

My Favorite Shows....

Curious George

(mommy loves that...not!)


Cars 2

Thomas the Tank Engine

Things I Can Do Now...

Put my own socks and shoes on

Jump with both feet off the ground

Go up and down the stairs

Melt hearts with his smile

Say "Bye-Bye"and wave as we leave a store, Grammie and Papa's, or the church nursery

Trouble I've Made Recently....

Dumped all of mommy's Rolled Oats throughout the house while she was showering

Dug out the inside of a candle

Ate most of my crayons

Took my pants and diaper off...and hid under a blanket

Things That Melt Mommy's Heart...

His smile

Hearing him say "Kay, Mommy"

Watching him learn and grow into such a sweet little boy

When he kisses mommy's belly...he knows there's a baby in there!

Kisses and hugs after naptime

The way he adores his daddy

His big, brown eyes

The zest for life that he has...every single day

"I wuv you!"

Monday, February 13, 2012


Things are a little messy around here right now...the house and the blog! Josh and I just got back yesterday around lunch time from a weekend in the snow- with 50 teenagers! So needless to say, my day has been filled with laundry, making the grocery list I never made last week, clipping coupons, unpacking bags, and snuggling my little man who I missed this much!

The blog is undergoing yet another transformation. I am not a gifted graphic designer, but I'm also too stubborn to give up. So it's a work in progress...but I finally feel like I got it right this time. The colors, the design. It feels like "me". And I'm loving the process!

The house. The blog. heart! Doesn't it seem like just when you think you're good to coast along, suddenly you realize how very much there is to work on? Just when I think I've washed the last shirt, Blake finds something to spill. Just when I think I'm in love with my blog design, I realize it just doesn't fit my purpose and I start fresh again.

Just when I think I've been growing and learning what I should be doing in life, God shows me a glimpse of the bigger picture and I realize how much I have to work on. It can be overwhelming to think about. Where am I at in my marriage? How am I doing with intentionally leading Blake's heart, not just his actions? What about those "baggage boxes" I've been storing away in the basement of my heart? All things to surrender. All things that I have to acknowledge are so far from the standard Jesus set.

When you're attempting to overhaul something, many times things get messier before they get cleaner. The closet that will forever be your arch-enemy of organization? It looks a million times worse when the contents are piled on the floor as you're sorting and purging, doesn't it? It's the same with our hearts...when we're pulling out all the junk we hold onto and laying it before the Lord, things look so messy.  So raw. So overwhelming!

But it's the cleaning, the purging, the straightening out, that makes our houses and our hearts function at their best. Letting go of things that weigh us down and add clutter to our lives is so much easier to do when it's a tangible box of Goodwill donations! When it's my heart, there's a different story to tell. I argue. I justify. I cling to an unforgiving attitude, the boundary lines I've established, the walls I've built, the dashed hopes of yesterday and the forgotten dreams of tomorrow. And for what?? It's not like they serve a purpose or bring any satisfaction. In fact if I'm honest about it, they only serve to cause discouragement, dissatisfaction, discontentment...all things that I do not want in my heart or life!

So the overhaul begins. I'm struggling to start the process and to humbly lay my garbage bags of junk at Jesus' feet as I ask Him to "take out the trash". Maybe that's why it's so hard? The very One whose standard I can't live up to is the only one who can clean up my heart space. There's such an unusual feeling to it's humbling and sobering, and at the same time it brings such relief and joy and gratitude to those dark, dingy corners of my little heart!

Philippians 1:6 "He who started the work, will be faithful to complete it in you!"

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Finding My Spot

When I was younger, I really felt like I knew who I was. 
I knew where I fit. 
Within family.
Growing up means that you kind of lose that spot where you fit...
and you have to find your new spot. 

In college, I started to wrestle with that idea. 
Things were people, starting college, new job. 
So I started making a list. 

A list of everything I loved and the things that made me happy. 
Things like...

the color of cobalt blue, 
daisies and hydrangeas, 
watching chick flicks, 
Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia, 
a boy I thought was my future 
(who shall remain safely anonymous...wink*),
spending time with my family, 
cleaning and organizing...

The list let anyone reading it have a glimpse into what made me

I'm feeling the need for a list again. 
Getting married, having Blake, expecting our newest little one...
all such wonderful things, and exactly what I've always wanted, 
and yet...
they've put me into such a different spot in life, it's hard to know who I am at times. 

I know I'm Josh's wife...I'm learning how to love him, grow with him, become one. 
I know I'm mommy to my sweet boy and my baby on the way. 
That means snuggles and kisses, 
goldfish crackers, 
changing diapers, 
reading books...

But I guess lately, I just am trying to find my place again.
Trying to feel like me. 
And sometimes I don't even know who that is!
What I like, 
what I am striving for, 
who God's making me and
what He's using me for. 

What's my I have one??
I see pictures of cute bobbed haircuts, and think how much I want to 
cut off the 2 years of length I worked so hard to grow.
I see moms my age wearing all these sweet, trendy clothes
or decorating their houses to be modern and fresh and fun.
I like that. 
It makes me feel like me. 

But I don't just want outward things...
I want to be a good wife and mom.
A woman of character, 
The deeper stuff beyond the clothes and espresso-colored end tables. 

I guess all I'm saying is that
I want to be the best me I can be. 
Whoever that is.
Whatever God makes me
for this stage of my life. 

The things that make me more like Him, 
shine for Him, 
have zest for the life He gives every day. 

the things that make me tick, 
make me happy, 
bring me joy. 

A good book (and time to read it!), 
looking put together, and ok...a little trendy,
having plans to brighten someone's day 
and making it happen, 
decorating our home...

I'm working on my list and I'm finding my spot.