So here goes...
Christmas was great. New Year is here. Baby # 3 will hopefully cooperate and ahem, reveal it's gender on Valentine's Day. My house is a disorganized, beautiful mess and I am learning to be ok with that...although most days I have to constantly surrender that to the Lord. My kids are growing up SO fast...Blake will be 4 in March. Stop. No, really. We're talking about things like preschool and I am sitting here going, Um...did I blink?? Kelcie is a climbing, dumping, hold-her-own kind of girl...and going to be a big sister before her 2nd birthday!
So the one thing that I keep going back to is how life just doesn't stop. No matter how much you think you're taking it all in, making the time count, doing your best to hold down the fort and Instagram it all into remembrance...life just keeps moving, at lightning speed. It's the busy-ness. It's the sleep deprivation. It's the incredibly looooooong days that feel like lifetimes...that add up into a month, a year flying by quicker than you can even imagine.
And for what? At the end of the day, the only thing I will ultimately get to "keep" is what I did for the coming kingdom...His kingdom...and I really think that means I've got the world's biggest and most important job. I'm a mom. I'm either guiding and training, loving and leading these little hearts into a deep love relationship with God, through Jesus...or I am saying to them that other things are more important to me.
So this year, I am asking God to show me how to love Him....what does that mean and look like? The first thing He's shown me is to love Him with my every day life and the minutes that matter in a big way. Minutes with my kids...loving them, teaching them...doing all the monotonous tasks of motherhood with a happy heart and a gentle spirit. And to not fill up my minutes with things that really have no value...it's so easy to slide off into the ditch of social media, tv, "errand running" just to get out of the house...I have SO far to go!
But at the end of the day, I can not fathom letting my life dwell in mediocrity. I can not handle the thought of standing at the throne of God someday and saying, "Well it had been a long day...and ya know, Honey Boo Boo was on...so yeah, I didn't really feel like praying with my kids before bedtime that day." And frankly, true confession time, there are days where that is ME.
I am seeking to be different and grow into a more mature, self-less, need-meeting person with the grace of God sustaining me. There are many days at this stage of life where I DO feel like plopping down on the couch and vegging out for 3 hours...but I don't want to have regrets either. And mostly, I just don't want to tell God with my life that what Jesus did for me on the cross wasn't enough. If my life is a thank you to Him, than I want it to be the best darn thank you I can give Him...and that takes more than a half hearted effort to "make it through the day".
So on days like today, when I am eking out every last drop of Holy Spirit power just to microwave Hot Pockets for lunch...I am going to do it with a smile and a kind word to my kids. So that hopefully, what they will remember is not all the Pinterest worthy lunches of their childhood...but a gentle and loving example that leads them to love God and to love all the "others" in their lives in really big ways.
Schooling mommy at Rescue Bot Memory
Showing off her mac & cheese smile