Attitude

I knew from the moment Blake sneezed his mouthful of soggy Fruit Loops all over my clean shirt and flat-ironed hair that it was going to be one of those days. My little guy's favorite way of expressing his extreme dislike of any given situation is to throw his Bo-Bo (bink, paci...) as hard and defiantly as he can. By the time we'd finished running a quick errand this morning, he'd chucked it probably 10 times in the car- and I was done. I was so sick of picking that dumb thing up, and I looked at his sweet face and yelled,

"Either knock it off or I'm throwing Bo-Bo in the garbage!!"

 His little face was so shocked...I felt like the worst mommy ever and I started bawling right there in the driver's seat. Which just shocked him even more! I sat there thinking Ok, who's the adult here? You're yelling at an 18 month old over a pacifier for pete's sake....get it together woman!!

Oh how I wish I could just walk peacefully and calmly through life!! To meet every situation with a soft answer, a humble attitude, a joyful heart. But it's not a field of perky daisies every day, now is it?? I long for my life to reflect grace, and yet so often I feel I'm reflecting something far from it.

Before Josh and I got married, we had marriage counseling with our Pastor. He had us take personality assessments-which was actually really helpful and really shocking to me! While my personality in some areas is overly submissive and compliant, my attitude (on a scale of 1-10) was at a 9!!

I prefer the term spunky or spitfire. 

But whatever I call it, at the end of the day, if my heart's full of contention, anger, frustration, and pride...my God calls it sin.

And so many areas of my life are affected by that attitude! By my perspective. So many days I think about what I have to do instead of what I get to do. I have to do laundry, I have to teach piano, I have to scrub the bathroom....

As a stay at home mama there's so much I get to do!! I get to feed Blake breakfast, play, and read books. I get to have a good meal ready for Josh when he comes home after a long day. I get to go to the park, the store, just out for a drive! So many, many things in life are blessings in disguise. But I only see them if I'm willing to be still, to soak it up, to lay down my attitude and take up the joy of serving others. 

The funny thing about little boys is that one minute they are fighting against everything- the car seat straps, the mommy's hand, the word "No"; and the next minute they are planting a big, wet kiss on your cheek. It is humbling. To be forgiven so quickly and loved so unconditionally.

Tomorrow is a fresh start, a clean slate...I'm thankful that Blake is too little to remember today's failures. 

And when I fail, I can seek His grace.
And I'm thankful that when I succeed, I can give God thanks.

And when the day is done,

I can place my head on my pillow and rest.

source: pinterest