That was my thought as I started frantically looking under the passenger seat of my car. The one that less than 15 minutes earlier had my cute little black clutch purse sitting right on it. In plain view. I did think twice about leaving my keys in the ignition and my little purse sitting on the front seat...but I'm only going in for a few minutes I thought, as I headed into my Mom and Dad's house. And I mean, who's going to take anything? The big golden retriever??
So in I went. And soon I was in almost hysterical laughter as my Mom relayed her paranoia over the guys doing roofing work on their house that day. Call it woman's intuition. Call it the Holy Spirit. Whatever it was that had my Mom convinced the guys were scammers and she'd better have my little brother's copying down their license plates & watching their every move....she was right! Fast forward 10-maybe 15 minutes, and out I went to my car, intent on getting home to put my sweet boy to bed. Instead, I found my purse missing and the roofing guys taking off out of the driveway. They sure packed up fast. And for a split second, as I saw them pulling out of the drive I thought, Hey! Get back here....my purse is gone and I'm pretty sure YOU'VE GOT IT!
But I didn't. I guess because seriously, who is that brazen? And I assumed surely I must have taken it in the house. Or left it at church earlier that night. Or maybe it just fell under the seat.
Two hours later, after a visit from the Sheriff's Deputy, a trip my Mom graciously made back to the church to double-check, phone calls to the head roofer, phone calls to the bank to stop our accounts...my little purse was still gone and there wasn't much else we could do.
I headed home in silence with Josh- and a sick feeling in my stomach. My debit card and check book were gone. My month old Blackberry was gone. My amazingly adorable clutch purse and SuperShock lipgloss were gone. We drove slowly along the road shining the headlights onto the shoulder, hoping maybe we'd get lucky and they'd have chucked my purse out the window as they drove. No such luck.
I didn't sleep too well last night. This morning has been a hustle and bustle of activity- getting a new driver's license, closing our bank accounts...my parent's roof still not complete, or done correctly. It leaves us with a sad, angry, overwhelmed feeling. I'm trying really hard to not be shallow- they are just things missing. But they were things I liked-maybe even loved (ok, I really loved my phone and lipgloss!) And I am reminded through this whole situation of 2 things:
1. Live with open hands. If I don't value and cherish my earthly things higher than I should, it's easier to let them go when I'm not clenching my fist around them. Yes, it still stinks that they were stolen, but it's not devastating because I know where they ranked.
2. Forgiveness is not easy sometimes, but it's what I'm called to. Somehow it actually seems easier to forgive the BIG things in life (an injustice we have no control over, a broken heart...) than it is with the little things. Maybe because we can see and feel the effects in such a real, tangible, physical way along with the emotions. But forgiveness is forgiveness either way, and I have to choose it to live it!
At the end of the day, God knows- He sees the unseen things. Maybe it was so we could talk to people at Secretary of State this morning as I waited for my number to be called. Maybe it will be used in the life of whoever took my purse to show them their own need for Christ. It's not my responsibility to know all the answers. But it is my responsibility to forgive, and to see things through God's eyes, and to trust.
So I'm trusting that God will protect my identity, our bank accounts, my parent's investment in their roof. I'm trusting that good will come out of this situation even if it's something I can't see. And most of all- I'm trusting that my purse snatcher will feel just as fabulous in that watermelon lipgloss as I did! (*wink*)